Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
