gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
