Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
