so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
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the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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