i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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