youre lurking in front of me
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
