i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
