I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
