Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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