I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
