did you get engaged???
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
