I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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