there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
