We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
