Christians are straight up FREAKS
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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