I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
