I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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