Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
