Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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