There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
