Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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