im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
false alarm. still invincible.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
