pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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