Sponge bath it is.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
