i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
