Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
