What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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