so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
