I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You were trust falling into bushes
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
