He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
