i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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