is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I am available for nakedness
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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