This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize