bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
