I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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