All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize