rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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