I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
