Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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