It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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