woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize