Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
