It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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