Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
