im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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