I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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