So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
