i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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