well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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