Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
