Too much gin, very little bucket
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
