I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
