apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
