what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
