i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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