ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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