he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
