I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
