how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
