you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i would punch a child for taco bell
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
