Her vagina should come with caution tape.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
