I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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