Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
