Plan B is the new Plan A
I forgot how hot balto sounded
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My dick has a subreddit
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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