Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
