Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
