I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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