You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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